I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
