and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize