Who wears a wallet chain?!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
His hands were made for my vagina.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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