And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
