some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
