i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
