he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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