maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
