So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
