Please, let me fuck your mom
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
