oh god the rape fog is back!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
