True but thats because hes a fetus.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
