Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I am mentally ready for anal.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
