it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
