last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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