She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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