What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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