dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
