no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
