I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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