you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
