I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
