Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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