billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
