take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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