I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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