Your tits are I can't wait for
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
