But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Randomize