Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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