we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
well you can't waste a boner
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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