A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
