come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
