He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
