HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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