Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize