Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
