your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
