i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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