What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
