its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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