We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
