I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
