you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
