Already got asked if we're dating
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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