But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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