does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Is it because I queefed?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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