She's JV to your varsity
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
