you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize