FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
