SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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