soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
