She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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