i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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