stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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