May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
