Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize