After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
