Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize