I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
