mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
