wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
