i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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